Requirements for a good gameplay layer for Crafting

This is a good way of making recipes manual, but doesn't really make crafting manual.

One requirement I would say that you 'missed' is the requirement for RNG, which players then have ways to adapt to in the process. This allows RNG to keep things interesting without forcing a player to just automatically fail due to chance. With this, crafting can include personal style and risk/reward choice. (One RNG fail isnt a problem, but two is worse. Should I bother to mitigate the one I just got, or bet that I'll finish before a second? Do I prefer to use extra or special materials to reduce the odds from the start?)

Without RNG, the principles you've described lead to the wiki having "recipes" for how to optimally produce certain items with various materials. It makes crafting a 'knowledge check', rather than a consistently engaging experience. After someone has enjoyed the exploration, it becomes optional for the rest of the server, and the only "skill" remaining in most crafting is memorization. RNG, done properly, allows you to require skill in adaptation instead. With proper options for that adaptation the wiki becomes "here's a way to do this (usually the simplest way: safer, but a bit more expensive)", but that way won't suit everyone's personal style, and players will still have to be engaged with the process or risk higher rates of failure.

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I always forget people come from games where you get RNG stats from your crafting. My concept is for success or failure only. I don't mind the opportunity for rare "high quality success" with fixed stats, but I hate the idea of gradient RNG stats for exactly the reason you describe.

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At that point why bother having anything other than the basic "put X Y and Z ingredients in" recipe? You're only making the tedium start from the very beginning for all but the pioneers of a craft. As much as I agree that many won't share their good recipes, enough will, and it only takes one. In the era of Youtube, there's definitely one.

I didn't personally find the system I describe particularly more tedious than the normal recipe based crafting (the sort most games have) in the game I played that had both, but it was definitely more engaging. It did have lower throughput because synths took longer than the 'put the correct items in the window' version, but there are reasons to value that time requirement as a design choice, and it's a part of your system as well.

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You shouldn't have any particularly significant risk of destroying valuable stuff, but there's very little reason not to have a risk of failure (with perhaps loss of fuel, basic catalysts, or lower level materials to give it a bit of meaning) other than simple player entitlement.

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How do you choose which? I am interested in carpentry, because I am interested in carpentry irl. If I had a shaky hand or other sort of accessibility problem (possibly even from an accident in the shop), what do I do if you chose carpentry for a dex check specifically?

The problem with this mindset is people have preferences and personal identity. Some people may go into a game like this going "eh, I'll craft whatever's profitable or easy". Everyone I know goes in thinking "I am going to go into these specific crafts because I like farming/cooking/carpentry/mining/etc". If I can't go into carpentry, I'm not going to randomly switch to tanning. I'm probably going to craft less, and be upset at the game for stopping me.

What if we a 2-step optional system. When starting a craft you'd be able to either go with a 1-click system or a mini-game one. 1-click required basic amount of resources and have you basic stats. Mini-game one would require some additional special resources and would then result in additional stats. This would be the "first step".

The second step would be optional and would always be a mini-game (ideally a differing one from the 1st step's one). This step would be "refinement" and would let you add those special stats to the basic versions of gear.

This way people could still craft a ton of basic stuff, but could also pick which mini-game they want to play to get better stats. This would also help out poorer players. You might only have enough money for a basic version of a weapon, but after a while you can come back to the crafter and ask him to refine it to get a bit of boost.