Actually, lemme roll with this, for a bit. Know that I'm not actually 'serious' nor attacking you with the outlandish 'claims' I'm about to make.
Yeah, if you chose an MMO first
and would still do that
you're more likely to be a 'bully' than not. But here's the thing. I don't think you're necessarily a bully, I think you're 'a person who would remove most of the incentive or capacity to be one, from MMOs'.
You don't have to be a bully within the game, you just have to hold that mindset of 'If I can get good, through my effort, so can anyone else, so the game shouldn't have to be changed for them at all'. You don't seem to hold this view either, but remember that the faster games become, the more mechanically intense they become, and a lot of people don't 'speak that language' in terms of gaming, so those people have years of catching up to do 'mentally'.
So when that person says "I don't know how you manage this, I just can't do it, I wish they'd make it easier/make it so that I could stick to only my own tier of opponent and not have to worry about high level players flattening me'.
If your response is 'Well just practice more and get good, it's more interesting', that's the start of it, and if you find yourself thinking 'you just gotta live with it, it's part of the game, you're too soft', then you're at the 'bully' tier.
I don't think most players hate PvP. I don't think most players hate owPvP, conceptually. I think players hate being victims and/or helpless. The 'bully' response to this is to go 'well you should just try harder, I don't see why you're letting this get to you'.
It's absolutely FINE and technically FAIR to have this response, but it's also 'the response that leads to people leaving the game'. Which is no issue if all you want is to have mechanically-skilled players playing the game until the next iteration thereof. It's just enacting a natural filter that some could argue is supposed to be there. If someone doesn't have the skill+mindset to enjoy a game, it is beneficial to EVERYONE involved if they stop playing that game.
Except the producers of the game.
And in order to address these kinds of issues, I've presented a few design additions that would keep those who dislike losing too much from being forever losers. Even if I do agree with the "suck it up and move on" mentality, I can still understand those who harshly disagree with it and/or consider it bully-like. I've suggested a "universal basic income" system that would support all the time-casual players, while also bringing them closer to hardcore dudes, on top of giving some cosmetic rewards for said hardcore players. I've suggested a fairly soft gear decay system that would be quite kind to non-minmaxing players (though we obviously dunno how the current system works, so my suggestion might be completely useless). And I've suggested a "Node-based pvp ranking system" that would spread out rewards across the ranks, and even reward losers in a way.
And as far as I think, none of those suggestions go against the core principle of "risk vs reward" or remove pvp from the game, or remove material scarcity, or interrupt the hierarchy of "people who play more have more" that quite a few people on this forum dearly hold onto. Now obviously I might've missed smth or left a potential exploit in my ideas, but that's what happens to any untested and unchecked designs.
All that's to say "I believe that we can appeal to both sides of this issue w/o completely shutting either of sides off or removing some mechanics that one of the sides prefers".
And when it comes to mechanically weaker players going against superhumans that have 1k apm, I've always supported tab target and a properly balanced gear exactly because both of those things help mechanically weaker people win in pvp (or at least have a better chance at doing so). Even back in mid 00s, I've played with dudes, who were way over 40, who could kick butt and lead other people while they were at it. They knew their class' potential, they knew other classes' abilities and used that knowledge to their absolute benefit. And they could teach that knowledge to anyone else in their group/guild/alliance, which they did quite often (specifically to me too). None of it was bullyish "you either get this or you're fucked", none of it was "get the fuck out of our super elite guild until you learn this on your own" and none of it was on some artificial timer at the end of which you'd have to be the apex predator of the server.
But as you've said, games have indeed become quite a bit faster, but you know what also changed? Information availability. If back then I had to talk to that older dude to get some real knowledge about the game, then now he could just point me towards a few info sources and I could learn at my own pace on my own time. So the only problem, when it comes to game speed, is the people yelling at you "TO BE FUCKING FASTER, YOU TURTLEFUCK". But I believe that we could solve that issue by just ostracizing people like that from our community.
And afaik FF14 community has this to some extent. They let newbies watch cinematics for their first time w/o yelling at them to pick up the pace. They're friendlier to those who might not know some boss mechanics during raids. And the overall in-game community is just friendlier to each other's interests (or at least they act friendly).
Now obviously that might be because FF14 is barely competitive (outside of world first runs), but even in my L2 experience, I've always shunned dickbags in any of the guilds I was a part of and promoted friendliness towards our enemies as much as our members, when I was a leader. And if there was some conflict within the guild, I'd either take blame onto myself and made the conflicting people calm down, or I'd kick the person who was being a big ol' dick about the situation, making them an example of what not to do and what not to be in my guild. And I'd say it worked out quite nicely.
In other words, if everyone cleans up around themselves - the whole world will be cleaner.