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The 'Tank fantasy' is whatever you want it to be as long as it does the above.
That's why this thread is so weird, though I can't fault the OP for not having experiences.
To me, it just feels really silly.
FFXI made the Ninja class intending for it to be a DPS/Debuffer.
Players looked at the 'shadow clone' ability it has which negates single target attacks and went 'That's a LOT of MP saved, y'know... let's make it a Tank'.
The Devs didn't support this for a while. They fought against it a bit (relatively, because again, anything can Tank if you really want it to, but they basically didn't want it to, so I mean that they fought against 'the community perspective of it being a tank').
AoE abilities destroy all shadow clones and still do full damage. The ability has a long recast. The class has good evasion but couldn't DPS well while built for evasion and also for using the shadows. Square Enix just left it. And players kept going...
"Nope, that's a Tank. Let's start getting these people geared up and work out strats."
So they did. Strats for dealing with 'things that outpace the recast'. For dealing with 'magic and AoE defense'. For 'figuring out how to make sure that the class could save someone else other than by just hitting Provoke'.
The Devs eventually gave in and gave the class an Enmity Boosting stance when in front of enemies, and that's about it. Players just all found their own way, because someone decided "I can see how to use a long recast ability that negates strong single-target damage to maximize MP/Survivability".
The game contained like, one actual Taunt skill for 10 years or so. Everything else is 'affect the enemy so they're actually annoyed because you stopped them from doing something'.
If I'm tanking and I lose the mob, I Provoke (/WAR - I don't actually play this), Flash(/WHM - high level option only), use a DPS Spike option (innate to class), use a big heal on myself or them (usually them, /WHM again), or the other person just switches to their Defensive mode until it's hit them enough for it to be off them.
Most of the rest of this thread is just discussions of 'I think this SHOULD be this way' and 'I never experienced anything OTHER than this way' while I'm over here like 'what are you guys even talking about?'
Some days my Paladin tanks, some days I tank, some days our Monk tanks, sometimes our Summoner Summon-Tanks, sometimes our Dark Knight tanks, and sometimes our Bard tanks. Whoever's abilities will win the MP/Survivability ratio 'contest' in any given moment is the 'best tank', and some days you can just ignore that too because all you want is for the mob to be ineffective at stopping your DPS before it dies.
The very concept of a 'Tank Class' is artificial to me, but simplicity helps, so I'm not willing to crusade against it. Even if the majority of people have the 'Tank Fantasy' of 'being the walking juggernaut totem that shrugs off blades and laughs in the face of explosions', it's up to the game to lean into that. If the game is full of mobs that kill through stacking Bleed damage and your Tank Class doesn't come with Anti-Bleed, whichever class has Anti-Bleed is the Tank.
When the enemy is going to drop massive AoE/conal lightning bolts on you every few seconds, you don't call me, the Paladin, or the Monk.
JustVine summons Ramuh and we work out how to get enough MP to her so that the Summon can Tank.